BUILDING A GRAVEYARD FOR POPULAR CULTURE

Article taken from "HERE BE MONSTERS" magazine JULY '99

In those godawful schoolday dark ages, I had a contrary English teacher who insisted that cynicism was the lowest form of wit - I always maintained that it is, in fact, the only remaining form of wit....REAL humour is always at the expense of others, and it doesn't really matter whether they're less or more fortunate than you.... A cynical craftsperson can dismantle almost anything. in defence of this craft.... jokes in the Readers Digest just aren't funny anymore.... they might have been hilarious in 1918, but in a different world ( ie : NOW ), a more ruthless outlook exists.

You think Sean Penn in U-Turn was frustrated? The countdown to the millennium has never looked so grim..... the best of the '90s lists all have the exceedingly average "Smells Like Teen Spirit" at the top of them as if it were a cure for AIDS........ Celene Dion is rapidly, and in grave danger of becoming this generation's Barbara Streisand, as if one fucking Yentl wasn't enough..... and nobody - And I mean NOBODY has had the presence of mind to assasinate Aaron Spelling and his amphibian daughter for crimes against humanity.

It's a fuck-up of a situation, chock-a-block with moronic plebs who find depth in Ally McBeal, talk shite across pubs to each other on mobiles, live in front of Playstations, and all seem to be emigrating to Australia when they get their " Shit " together..... Ironically, I would maintain that this dulled strain of humanoid are already experts in the field of excrement, so I can never understand what they are actually waiting for..... it's very simple..... JUST FUCK OFF, and quit talking about it. The facts of this NEW world are pathetic..... cultural identity, soul and organic creativity are being eroded. Bad Religion have been predicting a cynical downfall of man for years, but under momentary rule, punk isn't enough to save those it significantly impacts.

What we've got is a planet of fucking cattle who find merit in the meandering output of Nick Cave..... Cheeky from LOADED magazine got it right when he called him " a pointy toed nonce, forever crooning about ravens and frost on his marrows " .... a fine piece of journalistic whatnot.... the man is a fucking tosser..... you wouldn't listen to a junkie on a street corner so why bother to heed the very average literary spew of one on a stage.... as if anyone stupid enough to spend years of their life as a fuck-up suddenly has something interesting to say....

No saviour of our senses in the '90s embodies the craft of cynicism put to use in the mainstream more than Chris Morris, who, with his masterpiece, BRASSEYE, gave TV a glimpse of hope before being driven off the C4 airwaves. More subtle strains of cultural terrorism from Laibach, The Crucifucks, Mr Bungle and the Cardiacs made a point that substance still exists in small pockets, and the lush sensibilities of Bad Religion, The Young Gods and a revitalised Social Distortion, along with the false hopes fed to the masses of new product from Kraftwerk and Abba kept an edge on music for the population of scum that bothered to pay attention..... Most of what remained paid a tribute paid a tribute to the past as if nothing will ever be quite as good as the good old days ( remember how shit they actually were ).... it's like a big cop out..... a preparation for that point in time where all daily necessities can be carried out by a modem and the movement of a mouse - Simple facts remain that you can't shit in cyberspace.... it's still got to be done in a normal porcelain toilet.

The future isn't brighter... it's almost heading for the joke that a pre '83 2000AD made it out to be. Hope doesn't glimmer on the horizon when pints of beer are £3, mildew ridden bedsits are £90 a week, and there's no enforcement of a non-insulting minimum wage. The music still works to fuel a vision of something more, but many of it's genuine sentiments turned into baggy pants, wallet chains and substandard glossy product at Tower Records.......

As for the ever so important New Years Eve that approaches........What the fuck is going to be different the next day??????

The trappings of a higher cost of living are nothing to celebrate.... the trend of the '90s was to prosecute anybody who did anything new and creative.... ANSWER ME, The Crucifucks, Mike Diana and countless others who didn't impact the limelight of popular culture..... I can't wait to see what the next decade holds for the few remaining that don't tow a conventional line of thought.........

- BOZ